


Can we be happy?

by Llovely220



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Afro-Cuban Lance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Homesick Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, I know i know trust me, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Langst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Miscommunication, Mpreg, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Postpartum Depression, Slow Burn, klance, oc aliens - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 18:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11606733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llovely220/pseuds/Llovely220
Summary: "Why is it that nothing I do is good enough for any of you!"Lance is tired,Keith is pinning,Everyone else is sorry,oh and they don't know a baby is on the way.





	1. It kinda hurts

**Author's Note:**

> Yea I'm writing something. Funny story I took childcare and women's health for my extra medical class, and know so much pregnancy facts its crazy. Anyway this is the first fic I ever posted hope you like it!

 Lance stared at the exhausted forms of the paladins around him

They been constantly on the move for the last three months straight before some hope seem to shine at the defenders of the universe, in hindsight they should of seen the distress signal was a trap like many of them were.

The latest fight against the Galra Robeast put the castle in a pretty bad shape. The creature gave one too many hits on the ship before Voltron was able to formed. Luckily the Paladins were able to defeat the monster, and Allura teleported them away before a new fleet of galra ships reached them. With signs of relief from Allura she set a course to a nearby moon for a short interval, suddenly the castle stopped moving.

Lance knows this is bad. Of course he does, this was a life or death situation, and the Galra could track them at any moment. He just hate to seeing everyone look so stress out, he was tired; They all were but he couldn’t keep himself from talking. He was boiling inside to say something! Anything! It was too quiet. So he cracked a joke, trying to relieve some of the grim pressure surrounding the control room.

He just didn’t expect everyone to be so angry.

“How can you even make a joke now!” Allura was the first to yell. Her eyes glaring at Lance even with clear exhausted evidencing on her face.

“I-i was” he stuttered while his tight lipped smile fell.

“Can’t you stop being an Idiot for once and _shut up_ ,” Pidge growled before turning back to her self made computer, “god you're so annoying.” Hunk visibly paled looking between the two biting on his lower lip as he watched them.

**Idiot, annoying**

“This isn't the time to be joking around Lance,” Keith spat while he stood up, marching towards Lance, “what happen back there you completely froze up when we were Voltron”

“What!” Allura inhaled sharply. The tension started to rise in the room

“Princess,” Coran weakly spoke hovering out toward her. The princess huffed in anger.

Lance hands ball as he glared at Keith with irritation, “Hey! this was not my fault, we were all distracted” he said, “ and I didn’t freeze up I was trying to find a weak point which was the hinge joints by-the-way so your welcome.”

“I’m surprised you know what that is,” Pidge mumbled.

Lance shot her a hurt look.  
It went unknowns. As usual

Keith jaw clenches as he opened his mouth ready to retort, but was cut off my Allura scolding, “this is one hundred percent unacceptable Lance, being inattentive could of got yourself or someone killed! How could you be so lazy, And now we have to repair the castle.”

**lazy**

“But it’s not my fault,” Lance insisted before sharply turning to Hunk and Pidge, “You guys had stuff on your mind too wasn’t only me.”

Pidge furrows her eyebrow “Hey don’t put this on us yo-”

“That's enough Lance” Shiro snapped rubbing his head disappointed, “you can't blame your lack of focus on others.”

**You don’t deserve to be on the team**

Lance felt his heart pound violently while looking at the faces of the people he consider his friend pointedly blame him as if he cause this situation. _I can’t do this_ , he thought. He know he was not in the wrong this time. He _felt_ everyone's thoughts when forming Voltron. He didn’t know exactly what they were thinking, but he did know no one focus at all. He felt everyone start to panic as they hit the thirty minute mark  into the battle. No else seemed to see the Robeast covering his arm So when he saw the chance he froze the Robeast instead of preparing for defense. It worked in the end, with Voltron sword piercing through the Robeast body

Lance dropped his arms to the sides, they began to shake and he felt his eyes burn before abruptly running out the room. He heard shouts of his name and a mumbled “dramatic” echo's through the halls.

***

 

Lance room was dark, he found himself sitting crossed legged on his bed. He was combing through this hair. It brought back a ghost feeling of when his sister used to do it when he was upset.

Blue concern thoughts poking in his mind. 

“It's ok I'm ok,” he told her.

It was a lie

He had believed he was ok. What happen a few moments ago was starting to be normal. Everyone ganging up on him, they was stressed out lately, the battles were coming harder and harder with each passing day. No one have time to recover, relax, and Lance knew he was annoying,  he was reminded almost ever every mission. He was a screw up, always been.

**You’re the reason everything is terrible lance, you are going to get everyone killed**

_Maybe they’re right_ , he just wanted to go home. He wanted his mamá, he wanted his dad, he wanted to see his sisters and brothers, he just wanted his family; and where was he in _fucking space_ , left without saying anything.

He wiped his face, not realizing he was crying until he felt the drops on his leg. Curl up on his bed Lance reached between the wall and fuzzy blue cover he found roaming the castle one day to grab his phone.

He didn't tell anyone about it, but Lance found the phone in blue after the second week away from earth, he was so scared that Hunk and Pidge would want to use it in an experiment or something after overhearing their conversations. It was hard saying no to them.

**What a terrible friend you are**

The phone was the only thing he had left earth other than his clothes, he still had his music and pictures on it. Lance didn't want to risk the battery running out it with only forty percent left, and with no way of charging it without getting help he kept the phone off. he gripped it tight in his hand. It was a comfort to know he still had a reminder of his old life and that he would return after they stop the Galra empire,

_If I ever make it home_ , he thought.

It was starting to get harder to keep his eyes open. The exhaustion of the last few days hitting him, Lance rolled under the cover and quickly fell asleep.

He didn’t hear the knocks of a worried red paladin.

***

 

“Lance!”

“Don’t worry, he’s be fine after he is done brooding,” Pidge said examining the engine schematic with a unease Coran.

Hunk was looking towards the door where Lance just left with an anxious face, he opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but shook his head and dove back into the work given to him.

“Honestly I don't see why he is being so _dramatic_ ,” Allura spoke a frown, a hint of anger still grazed her beautiful features.

“Ah,” Coran cried, “I think I found the problem.” he pulled up diagram of the castle inner works, “Oh quiznak there is crack in the central energy chamber.

“Oh man OH man,” Hunk jumped up from his panel and swiftly rushing over to Pidge and Coran.

“How bad is it?” Allure demanded from her chair inching up to stand.

Shiro gently pushed her down, “Please sit down princess you need to rest,” he spoke. Allura blow air out in frustration, but gave a shift nod before turning back towards Coran.  

A pale blue hologram hovered in the room. It showed a large jagged crack running from the top of the tube to the bottom.

“Can we get something to plug it?” Pidge asked.

Coran shook his head looking graved, “Those tubes materials are only found in the seismic galaxy...princess we have to visit planet Ariel.”

Allura was quiet for a long time, "alright, we’ll deplete tomorrow."

Hunk groaned, “Why is it that every time we have to fix part of this ship it has to end in a journey,”

Keith nodded in agreement. 

***

 

They discussed over what needed to be fixed before Shiro and Allura agreed everyone needed a moment to rest and they were dismissed.

Keith was the first to leave the control room after Lance had left. He thought about going to train, but quickly repelled the idea while rubbing his sore muscles. With a nod to everyone he scurried towards the hall that contained their rooms.

When he arrived outside his room he scanned his hand on the keypad allowing the door to open with a soft 'click'. Keith stood there for a full five minute before he groans into his hands and swiftly turned around to the blue paladon room.

“Hey Lance,” Keith muttered knocking gently. He stood back arms itching for a response

“Buddy?”

_Wow real smooth Keith buddy? Really!_ He internally groaned.

Keith bit the inside of his cheek to hold his tongue. He was still upset with how reckless Lance act without Shiro order. They could've ended up dead or even worse… but then again they were stranded without a fully functioning ship..again.

Keith knocked again for a before stopping and landed his open palm on the door.

He signed and awkwardly cleared his throat as the twist of anxiety hit him in the stomach. he counted to ten, and thought of the lessons on communication with Shiro he been taking in secret after a particularly nasty argument with Lance. Keith could picture Shiro saying one of his inspirational speeches on how “communication is key” for the hundredth time.

Keith exhaled “Um..Lance... I just you to know you can talk to me, where teammates so yea.” _I sound Pathetic_

He was met with silence and Keith felt hurt over the lack of answer. Being honest with himself  he actually liked Lance. He was frustrating sure, pity at times yes, never stopped talking absolutely, and also rubbed Keith in a way no one else could, but they had moment where they acted like they know each other for years and seemed to be on the path to a friendship, at least before everything started to come down.

The rebellion against Zarkon took a hard hit when they lost a dramatic amount of Blade of Mamora members a few month back. Keith felt a blanket of remorse wash over as he remember that day. He never seen so many Glara flight ship attack at once or Allura as sick for the constant moving they been doing ever since.

He started to count The hallway felt colder than normal as he stared at the mocking close door.

“Goodnight Lance,” Keith whispered before entering his room. He changed out of his clothes, and pulled a small bottle of pills they found was similar to melatonin. Keith plopped down on the bed while chewing on half a pill, after all they were still in a war he needed to wake at any moment.

It was hard to sleep without help a night.


	2. No nightmare tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting a hang of this writing thing lol any feedback is welcome!

 

Lance gaped for air as he shot up, it was still dark in his room. The clock set to earth time read 4 am, he couldn’t remember what he was dreaming about. Which was fine by him. All he known was that it felt wrong, his fear lingered in the room. He needed the lights on.

He let out a small moan in pain, as he rubbed at his temple from the sudden headache from jumping up so quickly, Lance swings his legs over the edge of the bed, and reached for the light remote on the table. For such an advance race it's surprising to see Aultains didn’t have voice command for something as simple as lights. Lance quietly laugh to himself remember the conversation with Hunk.

His eyes blurred a little bit before adjusting to the brightness. He felt better with the lights on. His fear slowly faded into the dull pressure. Everything looked the same his robe over the bed, slippers on the floor, face mask cream he been neglecting on the desk, his phone

“Wait where is my phone”  an overwhelming amount of anxiety pulsed through his body as he flipped his cover in search. There lying oh so innocently under his pillow like it wasn’t a part of his stability was his phone. He breath out in relief before making his bed like his mamá taught him to do every morning. Lance neatly folded the blue blanket back between the bed and wall cradling his possession. 

_I could use a glass of water_

Blue hum in the back of his mind. He felt her concerns. “I’m fine” he spoke into an empty room. Lance slips on his slippers and open his door peering out in the hall. Thankfully it was empty.

Silently Lance creeped down the hall. He didn’t turn the usual left that lead to the community room and kitchen. Instead he roam the hall in the memorialize pattern. The first time he did this was after his first nightmare in the castle. He mindlessly walk for a good thirty ticks before checking a slightly larger door them the ones passed. The inside was beautiful. A large open deck showing the galaxy from all angles. The room was a huge circular shape that was littered in pots.

On one of the rare days off Lance spoken to Coran about it. It was used as a viewing/greenhouse. At that point Lance had the idea to secretly grow things from seeds of plants they know were edible. He was planning to presented them to everyone and maybe have a celebration.

He’s not so sure about the party idea nowadays.

Lance walked around to a sink in a corner. He drinked a glass and washed is face with a towel he kept in the room. I look terrible, he thought while looking in the mirror. His eyes were puffy and tear streaks was on his cheek. He filled up a pitcher. The amazing thing about the pot in this room was it was automatic fulfill the needs everything in it as oran once explained to him, but he deactivated most of its feature. He felt better knowing it was his hard work which was sprouting the plants.  
Its funny how other spices already found a way to cure world hunger, Gabby my little hermosa would be so disappointed.

Lance froze,

Gabby,

He shut off the water and pulled his alarm clock out of his robe pocket . **April 3, 4:56** the clock read. His sister was now six her birthday was yesterday.

The guilt he felt was like gasoline in his guts. His insides were no more than a spark about to be set ablaze. He being was like a void as the tear slipped out and he slide on the floor.

**How could you forget her birthday**

His eyes snapped shut, he melted to the floor, a hoarse sound escaping his throat. It’s been eight months. Eight long fucking months and he already forgot a birthday. His parents would be so disappointed, explicitly his Nana every moment with her she would speak on the importance of family.

**You're never going to see anyone again anyway lance.**

“por favor, perdona mis errores” he hung his head and prayed for forgiveness and safety of his love ones.

Lance sat there for a moment. He didn’t acknowledge the self inflicted voice in his ears. No he didn’t want to go down that path again. He wiped his eyes and looked out into space. Pretty always been so pretty, a calm comfort of dark lighten by the twinkling specks of multicolor dust. Light, dark, life. It was always so much contentment when looking up space. Not so much nowadays

“I wonder which direction is home”.

The alarm buzzed in his hand. 6:30. He gave a hoarse chuckle “Wow I sat here for an hour” He stood up and smiled in the mirror. ‘Never go to work with a bad attitude his daddy always told him’

It looked so fake, even to himself

Quickly he watered the plants and begin walking back to his room.

***

Keith made it to the dining hall where Shiro, Hunk, Lance and Pidge were already seated.

  
“Morning” he weakly waved walking over to the table, taking a seat by lance.

  
Keith suddenly realize his actions when he received a evil smirk from Pidge who was working on a new robot of hers. Usually Lance would of made some kind of commotion by now. Keith turn toward him. Lance looked tired, actually he looked kinda like a kid or a puppy from Youtube videos he would denied watching in his free time. His hair was unusually ruffled, lance was trying to keep his head up and failing by falling back in his arms it was kinda ‘Cute..... wait?'

Lance raised his head towards the red paladin who realize to his embarrassment was caught staring.

“What?” Lance spoke exhaustion evidenced in his voice

“Oh um nothing, i- did you sleep well?” Keith shimmered out quickly.

Everyone raised an eyebrow at Keith sudden appraisal, well all except Shiro who beamed like a proud parent.

‘I guess…”  Lance gave up trying and just layed down all together.

“So how does the food taste today guys?” Hunk asked passing around something that looked liked purple scrambled eggs.

Keith has never been more grateful to Hunk ability to change the awkward environment.

...  
“Princess please you should still rest,” Allura walked in followed by a stressed Coran.

“I must not Coran, how can I when where are sitting kaul worm”

She was frustrated, Keith could tell by her tone. It seems Coran let her oversleep again.

“Yes princess” he merely sighs before directing his attention “Ah, good! Everyone’s here,” Coran started he enthusiastically bid good morning to everyone.

Allura took her seat at head table, “We will be traveling towards Ariel to collect corite matter, it can copy the sequence of any metal and restore it,”

“Really?” Pidge question, “ how strong is this metal compared to what the Okarian can make?”

“Yea and what is this planet like?” Hunk asked.

“Great you should ask!” Coran said twirling his mustache. “This planet is home to powerful metal some that was actually was used to build the lions. The corite matter is almost like a bacterial it copy and duplicate DNA. its environment close to your earth's desert.

“Wait so this planet has the galaxy most precious metal and mater how do we know if the Garla hasn’t already took it all.” Pidge protested.

“I have ran scans of this solar system, there is no evidence of Garla,” Coran spoke, “most of the plants in this system has been destroyed with no sign of life.”

“How are we going to know what the corite is?” Shiro asked.

“Actually i have a video for it.”

Keith let out a heavy sigh. he hoped it wouldn’t be another outdated video they would have to try and decode.

“10,000 years ago this solar system wasn’t open to travel, many of the resources from Ariel wasn’t known to most, but my father had wonderful diplomatic relations with its people after settling a civil war. It's possible Zarkon doesn’t know of its properties” Allura explained, “Hunk you and Pidge would stay here working restoring the systems on the ship. Shiro you and keith would take the red lion toward Ariel since it is the fastest and most compatible.

A chorus of ‘yes princess’ echos across the table. For a moment everything was silent, but it felt like you were lurking in dark water unable to see while a the shark was swimming around you.

“Well what about me princess” Lance questioned, locking his eyes to Allura’s. She seemed to shift her eyes to contact slightly while calmly drinking from the tea Coran handed her, “Your not necessary for this assessment.” she spoke calmly.

Keith felt the sweat prickle on is temple as he looked between Lance and Allura. Once again the tension was beginning to rise.

Lance grit his teeth. “Why not, Kieth and Shiro are literally heading into the unknown with this planet”

“This mission shouldn’t require more than two people Lance, and the rest of the paladins has been learning how to understand my peoples coding sequence.”

“So basically your saying im useless”

“That not it at all but you could put in more effort-”

“Effort are you really saying i’m not trying at all.-

Shiro quickly moved to be a physical blocker between the two. He looked just as stuck as everyone else watching the two argue back and forth.

“Princess Lance could be put on our squad, all help is needed “ Shiro said with a nervous laugh.

Allure exhaled slowly and crossed her arms across her chest, She turned her gaze from Lance, obviously done with their conversation to address shiro.

“As you wish, the mission begins at 1800 ticks” she picked up a tablet and begin work for the day.

“I don't need to be pitied,” Lance mumbled under his breath so low only Keith caught it. He then stood up with his plate and wordlessly walked to the kitchen.

‘Awkward’ Hunk mouth, everyone silently nodded in agreement.

***

“I can’t believe her” Lance spoke from the hanger in blue. He was already ready just waiting for Shiro to return with Coran.

He really did try not to be negative today, but he was tried and it was started to get to him. Lance took a deep breath shaking his head lightly continuing to rummaged around in a storage compartment.

“Yes!” he excelled as he found a small yellow bottle, Inside contained a small amount of liquid they been told was an energy booster. Lance pursed his lips at the teste. “Ew it’s like ridden grapes stomped on by feet."

“You have a funny way of describing things."

AHAHH

His face crumpled into a rueful grimace as he fell over.

the blue lion laugh rumbled in the hanger.

“Its not funny blue, and what are you doing in my lion Keith!”

He had a suspicious little half-smile curved his lip. Lance darted his eyes. Keith hasn't smiled in a while. _It looked nice._

“Shiro back, where ready to leave” he said reaching his hand out to him “Are you taking the energy bust thingy, maybe you should just stay here and sleep?”

_Oh so that's why he here'_

Lance scuff and smacked Keith hand away, “Yea right like i would let you have all the credit, you just don’t want me around to help, don't you Keith,” he accused moving to exit blue.

“No that not it,” Keith snapped, “why do you have to be so difficult all the time?’

**lies**

Lance know what everyone really thought about him, he was not smart enough to be around Pidge and Hunk, and he lacked the history or was too incompetent to hang with Keith and Shiro. He was lonely so what! You get used to things after a while.

“Whatever.” Lance lamely responded  

**

“Be sure not to touch the pink stuff,” a young Coran faded of the monitor. The paladins entered Ariel's orbit 30 ticks ago, and were currently following a small pad that showed in wavelengths how close they were from finding the corite.

“How long before the drop point Shiro” Keith asked. He as usually was starting to believe the universe really didn’t like him, because one again a Desert. He sometime felt like he just escaped the Bullshit on earth and once again here he was back on hot ass sand. Red sand blasted everywhere, and as Coran spoke there was no sign of any like. There wasn't even evidence of ruins from the people before. It was a little unnerving.

“Head west we should arrive soon” Shiro voice brought comfort to Keith. Somedays he wouldn’t let Shiro out of his sight. Shiro wouldn’t tell him or anyone for the matter where he went after he vanished the last fight with Zarkon. When he disappeared for the second time it was harder than the first. Especially because Shiro wanted him to be the leader. Keith was hurt, he was constantly angry, and refused to even go near the black lion, he felt like he was betraying the thought that Shiro was safe even worst… alive. Surprisingly it was Lance that had him keep his cool during that time. They got closer....

Keith felt bad for thinking it, but he kinda miss that time, after Shiro came back it's like all the work Lance and Himself made into being good friends just disappeared. They went back to fighting like usual. The worst part it was all Keith fault he knows he was a cause of the split, because when Shiro came back he closed himself from Lance. It was petty and wrong he know, but he was just confused and embarrassed and overall just didn't know how to continue speaking to Lance.

Shiro nudge his shoulder when Lance wasn’t looking. “You know you could use this moment to bond.”

Keith takes back everything nice he ever said about Shiro.

Shiro was and evil evil man.

**Author's Note:**

> No beta if you see anything wrong please let me know :)


End file.
